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10 tips for growing the perfect moustache
No one ever said growing a 'tache is easy. From the first pubescent bum fluff to those comedy coppery bits and rogue grey hairs, we men come in for some terrible stick thanks to our facial fuzz. Yet still we grow it.
Why? Because we can, and women (mostly) can't, that's why.
And with November designated Movember, a month to grow a 'tache in the name of charity, there's never been a better time to cultivate a caterpillar or give a Mo a go. Here are a few tips to get your started...
1. Choose your Mo-ment
When growing 'taches, many men fall at the 'messy' stage - usually a week or so in when the Mo is at its most unsightly.
But like being forced to sit through an episode of EastEnders, it's something that you just have to tolerate, safe in the knowledge that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Using a weekend to get a head start is a good idea, or even better a week's holiday - that way by the time you return, you'll be over the unsightly, itchy stage.
2. Decide and define
Image © PA
Finding a style that suits you will probably take a few attempts so play around with your Mo's length and thickness.
Always shave just outside the line of your moustache - that will leave you room to tidy it up properly with a the edging blade of razor, ensure it's symmetrical (studies have shown that women find men with symmetrical faces more attractive) and, if you're planning anything remotely intricate, use a magnifying shaving mirror so you get pinpoint accuracy.
3. Keep it neat
Talk to women about moustaches and you'll soon discover that it's not Mo's per se that women are scared of, it's unkempt ones. In fact, an unkempt Mo is the facial equivalent of dirty fingernails.
So keep yours nearly trimmed and even in length with a gadget like Remington's MB320C Beard Trimmer (£24.99 on amazon.co.uk) and remove the guard to give the bottom of your 'tache a neat edge, always making sure it's level with the lip line or just above.
The skin under facial hair can become especially dry, partly because hair tends to wick moisture away from the skin allowing it to evaporate. The result can be itchy skin and dry 'tache flakes.
This is not a good look so, when moisturising, pay particular attention to the skin under your facial hair, massaging your regular moisturiser in thoroughly with your fingertips.
5. Give it a comb-over
Image © PA
In the same way that your barnet benefits from a brushing, your Mo can too, especially if you're going for an uber-bushy 'walrus', a Tom Selleck or a 1970s-style pornstache.
You'll look pretty silly using a regular comb to tame your 'tache, though, so get yourself a Kent Brushes Moustache Comb (£2.55 from www.kentbrushes.com instead.
Dinky enough to fit in your pocket it's perfect for keeping your 'tache tip top.
6. Keep it clean
Moustaches are magnets for stray bits of food and because of hair's porous nature also have a bad habit of absorbing nasty niffs.
So wash thoroughly with you regular facial wash (you can use a scrub on it too) and always rinse with warm water after eating.
You can keep it soft and silky by slapping a little hair conditioner on it each time you wash your hair.
7. Wax lyrical
In the same way that your barnet benefits from a touch of wax, gel or a fancy matte putty, your Mo will look miles better with a little waxing too.
Moustache wax (yes, such a thing exists) is good for taming, training and holding longer styles and giving definition to the tips. Warm with your fingertips, apply sparingly and just...play and see what happens.
Moustache Wax, £5.95 for 15ml, is available from tayloroldbondst.co.uk
8. Shower before shaving
Image © Rex Features
When shaving around your burgeoning 'tache, use a transparent shave gel or shave oil, which allow you to see where're you're going with the razor, and shave after a shower.
This way, the water and steam will have softened the hairs, making them easier to cut.
9. Dye right
Ever excitedly grown a 'tache only to discover it isn't just as tough as copper wire but the same colour too? As traumatising as it is, GTS (Ginger Tache Syndrome) can affect any man whatever his hair colour.
If you can't live with it, simply dye it to match your natural hair colour with one of Just For Men's Beard and Moustache Colour gels, £7.90 from mankind.co.uk
They're perfect for covering up grey hairs, too.
10. Call in the professionals
If you're attempting something fancy, haven't got a clue about how to style your 'tache or simply decide to keep it as a permanent fixture and want your mo to look magnificent, think about getting some professional help.
Many grooming emporiums and barbers offer a moustache-shaping service which is a good way to create a style you can then maintain yourself.
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