Help! She’s taller than me
Sarkozy-Bruni, Ecclestone-Radić, Cruise-Kidman – and now supermodel Sophie has married Jamie Cullum, her ‘little Dahling’. We all know that not all these relationships have worked out quite as well as intended, but the disparity in height between those involved almost certainly never loomed large in any list of serious marital problems.
Famously short men frequently go for taller women, and naturally evolutionary biologists will have theories explaining why this is. But what if you're not one of them? What if you left your Napoleon Complex back on St Helena, or never had one in the first place, yet find yourself with someone who towers over you?
The easiest answer is perhaps, get over it. She is not going to shrink before she hits 50-odd, and even then not by much, and presumably by now you have stopped growing.
Otherwise you could ask her not to wear heels when you are out on the town together that might help. Or, better still, ask yourself how you would feel if she told you you are too short and would you mind wearing lifts in your shoes?
It's not about her
On second thoughts, maybe not. It's good that people in love have something in common, but even an idiot can see that there are more important things to share than your respective heights.
Maybe a better place to start would be to ask yourself why her height is even a problem, or more pointedly,why it is that you have a problem with her being as tall as she is.
If it is because it makes you feel small then that is definitely your problem. If it makes you feel inadequate, then that is your problem too - and shame on you for wanting to bring her down just to give yourself a boost.
But, seriously, if it is a self-confidence thing then you should work on that, something you can actually hope to alter rather than her height which, we are agreed, is a more or less permanent thing.
Look around you
Here you might like to ask yourself why it is that so many vertically challenged Alpha-males end up with taller-than-average wives and girlfriends. And I am not talking about the evolutionary biology theories, which are probably best left for another day.
For some of them, almost certainly, it has a lot to do with status and display. Put like that, it makes them sound obnoxious. But what if we just say it makes them feel good about themselves? Surely that is OK, and equally surely it can do the same for you.
Now ask yourself this: if your height is not a problem for her why should it be a problem for you? If it is because your mates joke about the difference between the two of you, why not let them get on with it?
If you were the same height as each other they would definitely find something else to rag you about. It is what friends do, although interestingly this particular joke is beginning to run out of steam as people grow taller and everyone starts to take it for granted.
Take pleasure in her pleasure
It might help to reflect for a moment on the fact that one of the biggest problems many taller-than-average girls have is that men like you seem to have a problem with them.
Take that away and mostly they do just fine. Plenty of models are very tall, after all. They certainly look good, and clothes look so good on them that they can afford to stay in bed until someone pays them $10,000 to get out of it in the morning.
Chances are the girl you fell for looks good too, not in spite of her height but because of it. So try not to make an issue of it, and recognise that she looks good, really good, and is right to feel good about it.
Learn from her
Next there is the question of why, when there are lots of taller men out there, she has chosen to be with you. And why, just as men often want petite girlfriends, a lot of taller women go for taller men?
There are doubtless psychological reasons for this too, such as the idea that a taller man makes a tall girl look 'normal' or feel protected, in the same way that a smaller girlfriend might makes the caveman in us feel more 'manly' and better able to take care of ourselves (and her).
But there is no need to go there now. Fact is, she chose you. She loves you and she loves you for what you are. Question is, do you?
Be comfortable with yourself
In truth, you need to become more confident about yourself. If you find your own height a problem - and essentially that is what this is about - it is grossly hypocritical to expect others not to. But you can avoid this by not allowing yourself to fall into the trap of believing that women automatically prefer taller guys.
You know it is nonsense: you are living proof of it, in that your girlfriend prefers you. So take comfort from that, and get on with living. Self-assurance has always been one of the biggest attractions in a person, and so much more so than worrying about a couple of inches here or there.
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